On the heels of this weeks release of the long awaited iphone, the people at Apple have already introduced the first of many probable future variations of the highly reviewed iphone. "We just couldn't keep this to ourselves. It's too good." Steve Jobs said at an early morning internet press conference. "What we do is find something flawed and make it right." Jobs said regarding Apple's latest release nicknamed the idriftphone. " We've taken an piece of useless driftwood and embedded the fully functional iphone touchscreen and made a mediocre piece of floatsam function how people wished it would, no pun intended." Jobs joked. When questioned about the functionality of ordinary driftwood, Jobs indicated that mainly it was just not up to speed ergonomically. "It usually has sharp edges or dirt stuck in the cracks, things people don't like but that manufacturers like "God" apparently didn't care enough to fix. Secondly, the screen tends to look just like wood. I mean wood makes the crappiest screen ever." When asked if the increase in weight and size and the possibility of bugs would turn users off, Jobs replied "People will go bigger if it functions, feels and looks like it should, and bugs, come on it's an Apple not a PC!" While Jobs did indicate there may be shortages of driftwood in getting these first units to market, he assured loyal consumers that Apple has been coaching hordes of poor villagers all over Asia and Africa into chopping down trees to throw in the ocean for over two years. "I have a sneaking suspicion that the supply will rise to meet the demand." Jobs said with a wink.
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